2023 Author: Melissa Kennedy | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-05-24 13:57
A 40-year-old mother and social worker, Marsha took nearly a decade to get back on her feet after her husband left for a nanny 14 years his junior.
“After fifteen years of marriage, Larry announced that he had traded me for a nanny fourteen years his junior. My first reaction was: “This cannot be, just not with us, we are an ideal couple. My nanny is like a daughter to me, how could she betray me?"
When Larry moved in with her, I didn't get out of bed for almost a month. Over the course of one night, from an active, independent, cheerful woman, I turned into a complete ruin - paralyzed by depression, which I knew only from books. One day I was lying awake in the complete silence of the house - torn by fear, complete confusion in my head - when I heard the garage door open. He's back, I thought. "He wants to fix everything." I ran downstairs in my pajamas - first looking in the mirror and checking how I looked - but the garage door was closed.
I dreamed everything. Suddenly it occurred to me: "I have lost not only my spouse, but also my mind." My self-confidence continued to plummet. I felt like a fake, a hollow shell, too empty to go to a therapist, care for a child, or find a worthy partner. Life belonged to others, but not to me. Three years later, I was still battling my depression - my husband and I had been together for a long time when I learned at a seminar on PTSD6 that a person in a state of extreme emotional stress can isolate themselves from life and lose touch with themselves, even fall into state of delirium. It was as if something clicked in my brain: so that's what it was! It turns out my depression has a name! I am not crazy; what I went through is quite normal. If only I had known about this earlier, I would not have felt so lonely and, perhaps, would have opened up to a possible future earlier. If only someone could help me understand what is happening, it would be a great act of mercy."
Commenting by Dr. Spring, author of Marital Infidelity. Therapy after infidelity "(publishing house Tsentrpoligraf, 2017):" Once you understand that your reaction is not unique, betrayal will no longer hurt you so badly, and violent emotions will not shake you to the very foundations. If you can anticipate your reaction and give it a name, things will not be so unbearable. The healing process begins when you sort out your feelings and understand the nature of your pain. The important thing to remember is that the biggest threat to healing is the loss of hope itself.”