In Soviet times, Hungarian men were a magnet for our women - curly, elegant, they seemed like princes from a fairy tale. A reader of Eva. Ru Oksana Kupash-Deak told how at the age of 40 she met a Hungarian named Arpad, got married and managed to find happiness at the junction of two cultures.
Freedom, Airplane, Girl, or How It All Began
… I was 40 years old, I was free as the wind, May holidays were on the way, and I was going to have a proper rest. Behind my back I had a long relationship that ended in a breakup, I absolutely did not want any adventure, only beauty and relaxation. So I went to a familiar travel agency and asked to find me a hotel with an inexpensive spa. The manager suggested Tunisia - I have never been there, but according to the description I liked everything very much. A couple of hours later, I suddenly decided to call my friend in St. Petersburg: “Hi - Hi! - What are you doing? - I'm buying a tour for May. - And where to? - To Tunisia, spa hotel! AAAA! " In general, it turned out that we chose not only the same country, but also to the same hotel! We immediately decided to take one double room and change tickets so that I would fly through St. Petersburg.
Tunisia - the territory of love
Even without knowing how it will end, I would say: it was the best vacation in my life! My friend and I are both funny, we never lose heart. While on the plane, we met two more girls from our hotel - and immediately hung out together. On the first evening at the hotel we went to dinner, then the entertainment program began, my girlfriend quickly got tired and went to bed. Young girls met someone, began to chat, and I refused to change - I felt so good on this warm evening with a glass of local rose wine, I was happy and didn't even want to talk. I just enjoyed myself and the moment … A man sat next to me, tried to speak, I answered dryly. And then she actually moved the chair so that she could see the stage better, that is, she turned 45 degrees … And she saw a stranger from the other side.
I still don't understand what made me turn to him, it was just some kind of impulse. I said something like: "Good evening!" He replied: "Good evening." Conversation ensued (in English). A new acquaintance was named Arpad, a Hungarian, my age of the same age, lives in Tunisia, is engaged in business and came to the hotel today for a business meeting (it was no later than time, he drank coffee, looked quite businesslike, so the strange story about the meeting at the hotel turned out to be simple local peculiarities of doing business). We talked, agreed to see tomorrow on the beach, and I went to bed.
New life: in Moscow and in your home
All his life Arpad worked only for himself, so when he arrived in Moscow, he quickly looked around, studied the market and began to figure out how to make money: what can be bought, what can be sold, etc. He also skeptically examined my home - a small rented apartment - and said: let me build you a house. Soon he so infected me with this idea that we quickly found a site and started construction. Arpad took full responsibility for the construction, supervision and procurement of materials. He lived in houses all his life, he had experience in construction … But he did not know what he would have to face in our realities. As a result, the construction took 5 years instead of a year or two, during which, of course, we worked like crazy to pay the bills. Imperceptibly for themselves and got married - once he just found out everything about the documents, and during the next trip to the mayor's office we went in and signed.
Cultural Codes: CEO vs Commander-in-Chief
The first differences between the two cultures that I noticed are differences in food. When Arpad moved, I began, of course, to actively cook. Mashed potatoes and potatoes in all kinds, chicken, cutlets, etc. He soon became sad. "How much you can eat this porridge!" As a result, he took over the cooking: he quickly figured out where he could buy good food (Moscow's problem), he began to bring a lot of food from Hungary. Soon my kitchen was unrecognizable: a bunch of spices in jars, all jars are neatly signed, all cereals are also in separate containers, there is a system and order everywhere.
Another interesting trait is the ability to count money. I remember that at the dawn of our relationship, we talked about models of refrigerators (it happened!). Arpad at that time rented out his apartment in Budapest and said that according to his experience, it is best to buy a separate refrigerator and a separate freezer: when tourists come to the apartment, they usually do not use the freezer, so it can be turned off and saved. I was shocked! I thought: how greedy he saves on the freezer! I think we even had a fight! I didn’t know yet that electricity in Hungary is expensive, but Arpad explained: for example, for a month without a freezer, you can save 10 euros, for a year - 120 euros, for 10 years - 1200 euros. Now, having built a house, I also began to think like him - I believe that this is the right approach when you don’t lose money where you don’t need it.
The next difference - although I don't think this applies to cultures, rather it is the difference between masculine and feminine - Arpad plans everything in advance. I can fuss, solve some problem, forget something, overlook, have time to save the situation at the last moment … But this simply does not happen with him! He always draws up a plan of action and strictly follows it. And he always succeeds! In general, I am very calm with him: he can solve any problem, he knows everything, and what he does not know - he will quickly find out. Of course, I am also not a miss, so sometimes we argue about something. It happens that he rashly will tell me: so, turn off the “general director” mode (well, that is, do not command!). And I answer: "Oh, what a general director can do in comparison with a commander-in-chief!" Because here he is - the real commander in chief! He always thinks globally and if it comes to joint affairs, he begins to lead the troops!
By the way, about the disputes. I remember arguing about something and I told Arpad: you probably need a wife who will agree with you in everything, then you will be happy. He replied: no, on the contrary, I like that you argue that you have your own opinion …
And one last thing on this topic: Arpad taught me to behave differently in a quarrel. Previously, I could be offended, withdrawn into myself, wait until we find out everything to the end. And he refers to it this way: if you want to be offended and ruin your evening, take offense. But it's better to treat what happened with humor and forget. Now I try so hard to do it, and it turned out that the simpler you treat disagreements, the better you are.
What else can I say about my Hungarian husband? Family, relatives, friends are extremely important for him. In general, these are deeply family people. It's a pity we have no children, but we dream - for all God's will …
фотобанк о языке. точнее, о языках
мы живем очень весело, у нас много друзей, все без ума от моего арпадия, как я называю его на русский манер. он с ними, кстати, общается на русском. мы вместе уже 7 лет, но я, честно говоря, не сильно продвинулась в венгерском языке. очень, очень сложный язык! зато арпад молодец, выучил великий и могучий. но говорим дома мы все равно на английском - так нам проще. хотя бывают и курьезы: иногда дискутируем о чем-то полчаса, а потом выясняется, что говорим об одном и том же, просто недопоняли.
а вообще я даже рада, что не знаю венгерского. когда приезжаем в гости к родителям мужа под будапешт, я всегда испытываю только положительные эмоции! может, свекровь мне что-то и сказала сгоряча, а я не поняла, а не поняла - значит, и не было этого. считаю, это большой плюс интернациональных семей!
… а еще я для арпада всегда самая красивая. даже если не выспалась, даже если чувствую себя совершенно не в форме - он всегда говорит: «какая ты у меня красавица!» и я знаю, что он и правда так думает. конечно, дело тут вовсе не в национальностях. а просто - два человека смогли найти друг друга.
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