How I fell in love with a Hungarian, got married and found out why Russian women are valued (spoiler: my own opinion!)
How I fell in love with a Hungarian, got married and found out why Russian women are valued (spoiler: my own opinion!)

In Soviet times, Hungarian men were a magnet for our women - curly, elegant, they seemed like princes from a fairy tale. A reader of Eva. Ru Oksana Kupash-Deak told how at the age of 40 she met a Hungarian named Arpad, got married and managed to find happiness at the junction of two cultures.

How I fell in love with a Hungarian, got married and found out why Russian women are valued (spoiler: my own opinion!)
How I fell in love with a Hungarian, got married and found out why Russian women are valued (spoiler: my own opinion!)

Freedom, Airplane, Girl, or How It All Began

… I was 40 years old, I was free as the wind, May holidays were on the way, and I was going to have a proper rest. Behind my back I had a long relationship that ended in a breakup, I absolutely did not want any adventure, only beauty and relaxation. So I went to a familiar travel agency and asked to find me a hotel with an inexpensive spa. The manager suggested Tunisia - I have never been there, but according to the description I liked everything very much. A couple of hours later, I suddenly decided to call my friend in St. Petersburg: “Hi - Hi! - What are you doing? - I'm buying a tour for May. - And where to? - To Tunisia, spa hotel! AAAA! " In general, it turned out that we chose not only the same country, but also to the same hotel! We immediately decided to take one double room and change tickets so that I would fly through St. Petersburg.

Tunisia - the territory of love

Even without knowing how it will end, I would say: it was the best vacation in my life! My friend and I are both funny, we never lose heart. While on the plane, we met two more girls from our hotel - and immediately hung out together. On the first evening at the hotel we went to dinner, then the entertainment program began, my girlfriend quickly got tired and went to bed. Young girls met someone, began to chat, and I refused to change - I felt so good on this warm evening with a glass of local rose wine, I was happy and didn't even want to talk. I just enjoyed myself and the moment … A man sat next to me, tried to speak, I answered dryly. And then she actually moved the chair so that she could see the stage better, that is, she turned 45 degrees … And she saw a stranger from the other side.

I still don't understand what made me turn to him, it was just some kind of impulse. I said something like: "Good evening!" He replied: "Good evening." Conversation ensued (in English). A new acquaintance was named Arpad, a Hungarian, my age of the same age, lives in Tunisia, is engaged in business and came to the hotel today for a business meeting (it was no later than time, he drank coffee, looked quite businesslike, so the strange story about the meeting at the hotel turned out to be simple local peculiarities of doing business). We talked, agreed to see tomorrow on the beach, and I went to bed.

How I fell in love with a Hungarian, got married and found out why Russian women are valued (spoiler: my opinion!) /></p>
<p> Photobank In general, on vacation, I met someone from time to time, but these were fleeting conversations on the last day before leaving, nothing more. And then suddenly everything started spinning so quickly! Arpad, indeed, came to the beach the next day, offered to go for a drive around the neighborhood, I agreed. We spent most of our vacation together. </p></p>
<p> One day he helped me bring purchases to the room, it was during the day, but the reception staff seemed to be jealous,that their guest communicates with some strange man and said: "It is forbidden for outsiders to go up to the guests' room!" Arpad went to them resolutely and began to swear in French … </p></p>
<p> I listened to how his voice thundered in the foyer, and caught myself on the fact that I really like this timbre, that it awakens some feelings in me … I must say that in the first days I did not feel acute love for a new acquaintance: I liked him, he was interesting, but no more. And then I felt something waking up in my soul … </p></p>
<p> Are we together? It seems so! </p></p>
<p> The vacation is over, I flew away. We did not make any promises to each other, we did not make plans. But we continued to communicate on Skype. At the end of the summer, I again went on vacation and thought about where to go … Learning about my thoughts, Arpad was offended: how where? Of course, to him, to Tunisia! </p></p>
<p> I was surprised to myself - what, we are all serious? - but she didn't show it and agreed to come. It was a great trip! He planned our every day, and in the end I saw the whole country and fell in love with it very much. When it was time to leave, I asked: "So what, how are we going to go on?" He replied: "Don't worry, we'll be together, I'll arrange everything." And so it happened. Soon he said that he was leaving Tunisia, returning to Hungary and asked if I would like to move there to him. It was 2012, I had a great job with a good salary, I was the CEO of a textile company. I didn't want to give up everything and leave. In the end, it was decided that he was moving to Moscow. </p></p>
<p> Once Arpad asked me: how do you feel about me? I answered honestly: I like you very much, I am interested in you, but I do not yet feel that I am in love … He said he would wait. </p></p>
<p> … I remember how then I analyzed my feelings: before, love flared up in my heart, but everything ended unsuccessfully. But with Arpad everything turned out differently: my feelings matured slowly, we started with great sympathy and interest and eventually came to true love. </p></p>
<p> … When Arpad moved to Moscow, he immediately gave me a ring and asked me to become his wife. I answered yes - but looking ahead, I will say that it was a full five years before we got married! </p></p>
<figure class = How I fell in love with a Hungarian, got married and found out why Russian women are valued (spoiler: my own opinion!)
How I fell in love with a Hungarian, got married and found out why Russian women are valued (spoiler: my own opinion!)

New life: in Moscow and in your home

All his life Arpad worked only for himself, so when he arrived in Moscow, he quickly looked around, studied the market and began to figure out how to make money: what can be bought, what can be sold, etc. He also skeptically examined my home - a small rented apartment - and said: let me build you a house. Soon he so infected me with this idea that we quickly found a site and started construction. Arpad took full responsibility for the construction, supervision and procurement of materials. He lived in houses all his life, he had experience in construction … But he did not know what he would have to face in our realities. As a result, the construction took 5 years instead of a year or two, during which, of course, we worked like crazy to pay the bills. Imperceptibly for themselves and got married - once he just found out everything about the documents, and during the next trip to the mayor's office we went in and signed.

Cultural Codes: CEO vs Commander-in-Chief

The first differences between the two cultures that I noticed are differences in food. When Arpad moved, I began, of course, to actively cook. Mashed potatoes and potatoes in all kinds, chicken, cutlets, etc. He soon became sad. "How much you can eat this porridge!" As a result, he took over the cooking: he quickly figured out where he could buy good food (Moscow's problem), he began to bring a lot of food from Hungary. Soon my kitchen was unrecognizable: a bunch of spices in jars, all jars are neatly signed, all cereals are also in separate containers, there is a system and order everywhere.

Another interesting trait is the ability to count money. I remember that at the dawn of our relationship, we talked about models of refrigerators (it happened!). Arpad at that time rented out his apartment in Budapest and said that according to his experience, it is best to buy a separate refrigerator and a separate freezer: when tourists come to the apartment, they usually do not use the freezer, so it can be turned off and saved. I was shocked! I thought: how greedy he saves on the freezer! I think we even had a fight! I didn’t know yet that electricity in Hungary is expensive, but Arpad explained: for example, for a month without a freezer, you can save 10 euros, for a year - 120 euros, for 10 years - 1200 euros. Now, having built a house, I also began to think like him - I believe that this is the right approach when you don’t lose money where you don’t need it.

How I fell in love with a Hungarian, got married and found out why Russian women are valued (spoiler: my own opinion!)
How I fell in love with a Hungarian, got married and found out why Russian women are valued (spoiler: my own opinion!)

The next difference - although I don't think this applies to cultures, rather it is the difference between masculine and feminine - Arpad plans everything in advance. I can fuss, solve some problem, forget something, overlook, have time to save the situation at the last moment … But this simply does not happen with him! He always draws up a plan of action and strictly follows it. And he always succeeds! In general, I am very calm with him: he can solve any problem, he knows everything, and what he does not know - he will quickly find out. Of course, I am also not a miss, so sometimes we argue about something. It happens that he rashly will tell me: so, turn off the “general director” mode (well, that is, do not command!). And I answer: "Oh, what a general director can do in comparison with a commander-in-chief!" Because here he is - the real commander in chief! He always thinks globally and if it comes to joint affairs, he begins to lead the troops!

By the way, about the disputes. I remember arguing about something and I told Arpad: you probably need a wife who will agree with you in everything, then you will be happy. He replied: no, on the contrary, I like that you argue that you have your own opinion …

And one last thing on this topic: Arpad taught me to behave differently in a quarrel. Previously, I could be offended, withdrawn into myself, wait until we find out everything to the end. And he refers to it this way: if you want to be offended and ruin your evening, take offense. But it's better to treat what happened with humor and forget. Now I try so hard to do it, and it turned out that the simpler you treat disagreements, the better you are.

What else can I say about my Hungarian husband? Family, relatives, friends are extremely important for him. In general, these are deeply family people. It's a pity we have no children, but we dream - for all God's will …

как я влюбилась в венгра, вышла замуж и узнала, за что ценят русских женщин (спойлер: свое мнение!)
как я влюбилась в венгра, вышла замуж и узнала, за что ценят русских женщин (спойлер: свое мнение!)

фотобанк о языке. точнее, о языках

мы живем очень весело, у нас много друзей, все без ума от моего арпадия, как я называю его на русский манер. он с ними, кстати, общается на русском. мы вместе уже 7 лет, но я, честно говоря, не сильно продвинулась в венгерском языке. очень, очень сложный язык! зато арпад молодец, выучил великий и могучий. но говорим дома мы все равно на английском - так нам проще. хотя бывают и курьезы: иногда дискутируем о чем-то полчаса, а потом выясняется, что говорим об одном и том же, просто недопоняли.

а вообще я даже рада, что не знаю венгерского. когда приезжаем в гости к родителям мужа под будапешт, я всегда испытываю только положительные эмоции! может, свекровь мне что-то и сказала сгоряча, а я не поняла, а не поняла - значит, и не было этого. считаю, это большой плюс интернациональных семей!

… а еще я для арпада всегда самая красивая. даже если не выспалась, даже если чувствую себя совершенно не в форме - он всегда говорит: «какая ты у меня красавица!» и я знаю, что он и правда так думает. конечно, дело тут вовсе не в национальностях. а просто - два человека смогли найти друг друга.

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